Finding My Own Confidence

Body image, body image, body image! Some people blame the media, the modeling industry, fast food, soda, boredom, working too hard, working too little. There's always an excuse, and always 5 pounds to lose.

People say that women dress for eachother. How true. I know I am not alone when observing other women's bodies, clothes, hair, shoes (OH SHOES!!), pants sizes.... The list goes on and on and on. We are constantly comparing ourselves to other women, strangers and friends alike.

In a recent Newsweek article titled Is That Fat Girl Me? this constant comparison between women is discussed. A study done by a neuroscientist shows 9 men and 10 women pictures of overwight people in swimsuits. The women showed a change in the part of their brain involved in self-reflection. This is same change common in brains of bullimics. What calls to some to extreme action scientists think might be an abnormal development of the brain which controls impulive behavior. It truly is an interesting combination of nature vs. nurture and I highly recommend reading the entire article

In today's media messages, a healthy hefty man is acceptable, while the female standard seems only achieveable through airbrushing, or plastic surgery. "The result is a culture in which women are afraid of even a little fat" so it's no wonder that from a young age, we learn to hate our bodies.

For me, I have always been at a healthy weight. When I gained a few pounds, it would depress me. I would work out really hard one day, and then be tired for a week, and be dissappointed when I saw no results. I simply gave up before I ever gave myself a fair chance. I would feel hopeless, like I would never lose it (even though it was never hard), people didn't like me as much. Can you believe that? All that over 5-10 pounds?

I have to say that watching The Biggest Loser was kind of an eye opener. While I think the rigarous exercise may not be the healthiest way for the contestants, I realized how good I have it. Just listening to the contestants psychological problems, thinking they could never do it then seeing them transform really was inspiring. Each day is an opportunity to take care of your body, and the better you take care of it, the better you feel.

It also made me realize that I needed to relax about my own issues and fears, to just work every day to be healthy, and not worry so much about a number on a scale. My mom always taught me how to eat healthy, so I wasn't worrying about breaking an addiction to fast food or anything really unhealthy. My weakness is that I have an enormous sweet tooth, which is where I know I have to be careful, but learning that all bites taste the same has helped me realize that I can have my cake, and I don't need a huge piece to be satisfied.

Each year I do the M'lis Detox under the supervision of my friend who is a trained distributor of the product. I know that there are a lot of dangerous detoxes out there, so when doing a detox, you definitely need to know what you are getting into. They may not be for everyone, but the reason I do it, is it feels good to kind of recharge and get in tune with my body. I re-learn to pay attention to my body signals, when I'm hungry, when I'm bored, when I'm thirsty, as well as being more conscious about eating healthy whole foods. The more that you cut out excess sodium and sugar, the less you miss and crave it. That is a great place to be.

All my life I've been fairly active, my favorites being dance and pilates.
My favorite at-home workouts are the 10 Minute Solution Pilates Series, and both of the Jackie Warner (from Workout! on Bravo) weight training DVD's.

When I married my husband, he taught me the importance of weight training. Oh yes, he is a drill sergant when it comes to weight training me! No mercy! But he has taught me to believe in myself, and push a little more to gain that strength.

I have always kind of been into running, but having short legs I never could run very fast. Last year, I trained for my first 5k which was the Women's Fitness Celebration. After running a whole 3.1 miles I realized... I CAN do this! I went on to running most of a 10k that October. I'm getting ready to run the Race for the Cure 5k this Saturday. Thanks to my faithful Pearl Izumi running shoes, I'll be shin splint free!

More than ever, I am learning that my worth or success can't be based on what anyone else may be doing. As long as I'm progressing on my own path, that is what makes me happy.

No matter what, there will always be someone taller, skinnier, bustier, prettier, whatever. No one is perfect, no matter how they may seem.

Organic worth it?

I hope all of this rambling makes some sense in my decision to support organic milk.

Ok, so to be completely honest, I'm not huge on most organic products. I'm just not. There, I said it. Most of the time, I just want to be cheap and save some money.

A 2009 article from the TODAY show Organic food: Is it worth the money? brought up some interesting points.

-Basically, it was a compromise to buying organic. Things that you take off the peel are ok to go non-organic: such as kiwi, oranges, mangoes, corn, onions and peas to name a few.

-If you're eating the skin, apples, cherries, strawberries, spinach, then you might want to think about organic. Reason being the the pesticides are right there on the skin, which means right into your body.

Well, if the FDA says it's ok, it can't be that bad, right. This is a pretty controversial issue. There are a lot of things that aren't illegal that aren't necessarily good for you. Fast food, junk food (I always think Twinkies which would last through a nuclear disaster), soda, alcohol, coffee, cigarettes, you get the idea.

You know how many organic fruits and vegetables I have in my fridge: zero. I wouldn't say I'm proud of that fact. For me, there's a higher priority that I find it is worth spending the extra on.

According the article, there's the foods worth considering: milk, beef, poultry. Now that is a little more important to me. While produce is treated with pesticides, the afore mentioned is often treated with hormones. Somehow, that seems a little more scary.

Let me introduce you to Monsanto Company. They are an agricultural biotechnology corporation. Maybe you've heard of them, but maybe not.

More likely, you've heard of rBGH. It is a growth hormone that increases the milk production.

Claims of this hormone causing cancer have yet to be proven. Anytime you add something unnatural to food, which then passes into your body probably isn't necessarily good for you. It is known that rBGH mimics effects of estrogen which can cause females to enter puberty earlier, and lower sperm count in males.

(Side note: you CAN purchase non-organic milk without rBGH, however it doesn't take into consideration treatment or use of pesticides.)

Depending on who you ask, who is sponsoring the survey, you'll get two opposite answers. The weird thing is, unless you are asking a large dairy company or Monsanto themselves, pretty much anyone else completely disagrees.

What I think rBGH boils down to is money. More milk = more money. I'm not a huge conspiracy theorist. However, it's been shown time and time again that large corporations aren't doing anything that doesn't benefit themselves. These large dairy companies, not to mention Monsanto is making millions of dollars off of shortcuts that aren't healthy for the cows, or humans.

It gets better. Hormones can contribute to mastitis, which is an infection of the udder. In order to avoid losing milk (read: $$$), they just keep right on milking the infected cows. Nice. Plus, what comes with infection? PUS. Say it with me: EEEWWW!!!

If you think that's scary, now we're going to talk antibiotics. Antibiotics? Good for making sick people (and animals) better. Bad when they are given to animals, which are then unnecessarily transferred into humans. An overload of unnecissary hormones can cause our bodies to be immune to them, which could mean trouble when we get sick.

On the Organic Valley Website you can read about the 6 reasons to buy organic milk.

So all these things about organic milk sound great! Where do I go buy some? Until you get to the grocery store and realize it is twice as much. Forget it! Right? Wait just a minute.

Here are some reasons why it costs more:

The more you produce, the less you have to charge right?

-Without growth hormones, the cows don't produce as much milk.

-All of the feed and grazing areas have to be organic, which means no pesticides or chemical fertilizers.

-Organic farms are often smaller, family owned establishments, instead of massive "factories".

I don't know about you, but I'm willing to support the family man versus a large corporation.

This just in!

Just a side note, I pretty much have atleast 2 blog drafts going at any one time. Welcome to my word of short attention span.

Ok, onto this recipe I literally just took out of the oven!

An inspiration from Hungry Girl's Foil Packs:

Salmon Foil Pack
1 frozen salmon fillet
1-2 tbs teriyaki sauce (like Soy Vey)
1/4 tsp minced garlic
2 lemon slices

1. Prehead oven to 350 F. Place a sheet of aluminum foil onto a baking sheet.

2. Rinse any ice off the frozen salmon. Place the salmon onto the foil. Drizzle teriyaki over salmon. Spread garlic over the top of salmon, and cover with the lemon slices.

3. Fold up the foil at the sides, and then the top and bottom.

4. Bake for 45 minutes, and voila! SO good! I like to serve overtop a green salad with Litehouse Poppysead dressing, or Galeo's Miso Sesame dressing.

One More

Here is one more that I had forgotten I bought. Ok, so I might have slight book ADD. Ah, bring it on! This book is:

True Colors by Kristin Hannah

This is about 3 sisters who lose their mother at a young age and grow closer and tighter despite their trial. Their father, already an unapproving character, is completely broken by his wife's death.

As drama of sisters permits, these three adult sisters' bond is tested by betrayal. We shall see...

Less TV, More Books

Back in my first blog, I mentioned I wanted to read more books and watch less TV.

So it is now April and I have not read a single book. Somehow, I have accumulated more TV shows.

-LOST is back, and with 4 episodes left forever, they gotta a lotta 'splaining to dooo!

-The Biggest Loser isn't the most exciting, but watching the transformation of each contestant is truly inspiring. It also makes me grateful for my own physical health.

-ANTM is Wednesday night guilty pleasure. I swear that they are getting skinnier and skinnier each season. More on my opinion of that in another blog. One that's been much more personal and difficult to write.

-Bang for your Buck was one that it took me a while to warm up to. However, since we moved into our house, I have learned some good decorating ideas, and enjoy trying to guess which renovation gets the most bang for its buck.

-Mystery Diagnosis. I could watch this show all day everyday. It describes cases with rare diseases that take within a few months to several decades to properly diagnose! I'll eat dinner and watch this show at the same time and not give it a second thought.

-RHWONY, and soon RHWONJ. That's Real Housewives of New York and New Jersey for you non-Bravo addicts. I like Theresa from NJ the best.

BUT WAIT!!!

This was supposed to be about books! Ok, unfortunately, I do not have nearly as many books as TV shows, but hopefully the list will grow.

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

This is the story about a dog named Enzo who thinks he is almost human. Jeremy and I have been reading it together (read: I have been reading chapters to Jeremy). It is really a delight to see things from "a dog's perspective" and reminds us often of our own golden retriever, Hunter. The perspective often makes us laugh at the simplistic thoughts but also his courageous and determined spirit. Ironically, Enzo also loves TV, which is where he does much of his learning.

Jesus the Christ by James Edward Talmage

For a little more heavy reading I actually bought this book before Christmas. Then we moved. Things seem to on their own free will. Luckily, I was looking for my rain jacket the other night (no, I didn't find it) and ran accross this book. It's one of those that you need a dictionary to accompany reading it. Never one to be intimidated by a book like this (as long as it's not for school, with a deadline to read it by) I'll take my time reading through it. It's about the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. Quite a thick read. Talk to me when I've finished it in 3 years.

The Perfect Mix CD

**This blog is dedicated to my hunny Jeremy, who always appreciates my mixes.**

Can I just say that the one thing the iPod can't do is make mix CD's. There's just nothing better than a mix CD, and I put a lot of time into mine. Especially, thanks to iTunes, where I can find lesser known artists, because radio songs get so overplayed anyway. You have to get every song just perfect, and put them in order so there is some flow.

Although I seem to make random mix CD's still. But it doesn't matter, because it's a mix, and that means you can put whatever the heck you want on it.

Here's the latest mix I made, titled Springtime Seranades:

1. Snow Patrol- Just Say yes
2. Imogen Heap- First Train Home

3. Owl City- Ocean Eyes

4. Leona Lewis- Footprints in the Sand

5. James Morrison- You Make It Real

6. Missy Higgins- All For Believing

7. Joshua Radin- Brand New Day

8. Kenny Chesney (with Dave Matthews)- I'm Alive

9. Lou Rawis- You'll Never Find Another Love

10. Michael McLean- Tender Mercies

11. Michelle Featherstone- Sweet Sweet Baby

12. Ashley Chambliss- A Little More of You

13. Selena Cross- Hear How I Love You

14. Kari Kimmel- To Make You Smile

15. Mindy Gledhill- A Little More Like Thee

16. Amy Gileadi- I Am Like Star

My Favorite (Beauty) Things!

My first list of many!


A girls' best friend may be diamonds, but these things come in close behind.

Burt's Bees Replenishing Lip Balm with Pomegranate Oil- Love the original Burt's Bees and this has a great hint of pomegranate!

Ojon Rub-out dry cleanser- This stuff is AMAZING! I try not to wash my hair more than once a week, to keep my colored hair from fading. Even works after a morning workout. I'll run a blow dryer through the damp places first. Part hair, shake, spray, shake, spray, repeat. Rub into roots, brush out. It takes some practice to get the method down at first. I'm not sure how it compares to other brands, this stuff is about $24 for a 4.5 oz. bottle, but it lasts a long time. Definitely worth it.


Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash Pink Grapefruit Foaming Scrub- Exfoliating makes for glowing skin, and this stuff is gentle and smells great. Even my husband likes to use it. :)



San Fransisco Bath Salt Co. Spa Therapy Bath Salts- When we bought our house, I made sure that it had a big soaking TUB. Nothing else I've tried holds a candle to this company's products. The high quality product relaxes, detoxes, soothes, and moisturizes. I can't get enough!

Redken Extreme Product Line- Recently, I gave up my tryst with being a brunette, which I loved, but let's face it blondes really do have more fun. Had I know at the beginning of this transformation how it would kill my hair to bring it back to blonde, I may have thought about it twice. I still would have done it, but perhaps I would have not been so shocked. My. Poor. Hair. Though it was blonde again, (and yay! blonde only fades to better blonde) it HATED me. Dry and sad, I made peace by promising to baby it back to health with this product. It's been about a month, and already much, much healthier.

There is one thing that I had a surprisingly negative reation to:

Hope in a Jar- Philosophy

I was at home one day, and found a sample I recently had received from Sephora. It is a facial moisturizer and I greedily slathered it on. Much to my dismay, about 2 days later, I noticed that there were hives! Spreading rapidly around my eyebrows, accross my forehead, cheeks, bridge of my nose. It was a sad, sad few days after I tossed the rest of the sample, fell into a Benadryl coma each night as I waited for it to go away.

Guess there is something to be said about the little label warning that says test in a small area first. :)