Wild 4 Day Weekend

As I write this, my butt is crying out in protest of sitting on a hard chair. My knees are bruised, and my pride is a little bit too. What inspired this masochism? Well. It's fun! As I had written a few posts back, I got a dirt bike. Now the process of learning to ride. It looked so simple. Not so much.

Next time I go ride, I won't do an intense circuit training the night before. Yea, I was ALREADY sore!!

Even though I had gotten my bike a couple of weeks ago, I hadn't been able to go learn with anyone. But finally, FINALLY my new friend who is a seriously good rider took me out. Turns out there's quite a bit to learn about riding. Starting the bike is a feat on it's own. You basically have to bring your knee almost up to your chin (I'm only exaggerating a little) then kick down really hard to get it started, while holding the clutch, the break, trying to balance, and giving it enough gas so it wouldn't die. The throttle (gas) is super sensitive, so it took me a while jerking around on the bike to kind of master it. Then there's the hand break, the clutch, the foot break and the shifter. Both the foot break and the shifter are used with your feet, which is a little scary either feeling for it with huge, thick boots (kind of like snowboarding/ski boots) or daring to peek down while riding to locate it.

I am proud to say, that I only fell a couple of times. This lovely bruise pictured above (the picture truly doesn't do it justice) was when I was riding over some little hills, and I was feeling a lot out of control, and sure enough I accidentally wrenched on the throttle, hit a bump wrong, got bucked off and literally went flying. That was the fun part. The landing.... while not as bad as I was afraid, was not so much fun. Go big or go home right? I was glad for my first fall, so that I could get that fear out of the way. I've had worse tumbles snowboarding. After lying there for a minute getting re-oriented, I got back up and was ok!

After a little break, I actually rode back and forth on a less bumpy trail, and even got to 2nd gear! You gotta count the little victories. I did start to learn to fall a little more gracefully, as well as learn how to correct the bike when I felt like it was getting out of my control. Man, it is heavy! And mine is considered light! I was really thankful for my helmet, and chest protector. Next investment will definitely be knee pads!! Turns out there's a lot to think about while riding. You have to learn to use your whole body to balance, sit forward on your seat, grip the bike and steer with your legs, keep your arms relaxed, and most of all not let it all get to your head! There were times when I'd be doing fine, and start doubting myself, and I had to just breath, relax, put on my game face and tell myself "I can do this!"

After getting beat up for a couple of hours (time really flies out there!) , I was exhausted, and the soreness was starting to set in. I had bruises on both knees, my arms and I'm pretty sure my butt will never be the same. Despite the bruises, (which I iced that night- like a good girl) it was definitely my butt (which I also iced, haha) that was in the worst condition the next morning.

All in all, it was SO much fun. Learning something new is always intimidating for me. I'm so AFRAID of failing. It's embarrassing when people see me fall. I had to accept that learning means falling along the way, and even when you get good, you still fall from time to time. Which is kind of a metaphor for life in general. I think everyone is afraid of failing, or looking bad. Our lives are not defined by the number of times we fall, it's how we handle it afterward by getting back up, dusting ourselves off and trying again. Even for those who it seems always get everything right, they fall from time to time too. Part of being human is making mistakes, learning from them and getting better. Letting fears of what might or might not happen, only hold us back from the achievements we can accomplish if we just set our minds to it.

My friend kept telling me to look farther ahead when I was riding. I was looking right in front of my bike at every rock worrying that it might make the bike tip. She said you'll go where you look, and you have to look farther ahead so you know where you are going. So it is with life! If we look at the situation we are in right now, worrying about it, we aren't looking ahead at the bigger picture of where we are going. Instead of worrying about little bumps in the road, we look ahead to where we are going and plan accordingly.

I'll end with this quote I recently stumbled upon:

"You never know how STRONG you are... until being strong is the ONLY choice you have."

Finding My Own Confidence

Body image, body image, body image! Some people blame the media, the modeling industry, fast food, soda, boredom, working too hard, working too little. There's always an excuse, and always 5 pounds to lose.

People say that women dress for eachother. How true. I know I am not alone when observing other women's bodies, clothes, hair, shoes (OH SHOES!!), pants sizes.... The list goes on and on and on. We are constantly comparing ourselves to other women, strangers and friends alike.

In a recent Newsweek article titled Is That Fat Girl Me? this constant comparison between women is discussed. A study done by a neuroscientist shows 9 men and 10 women pictures of overwight people in swimsuits. The women showed a change in the part of their brain involved in self-reflection. This is same change common in brains of bullimics. What calls to some to extreme action scientists think might be an abnormal development of the brain which controls impulive behavior. It truly is an interesting combination of nature vs. nurture and I highly recommend reading the entire article

In today's media messages, a healthy hefty man is acceptable, while the female standard seems only achieveable through airbrushing, or plastic surgery. "The result is a culture in which women are afraid of even a little fat" so it's no wonder that from a young age, we learn to hate our bodies.

For me, I have always been at a healthy weight. When I gained a few pounds, it would depress me. I would work out really hard one day, and then be tired for a week, and be dissappointed when I saw no results. I simply gave up before I ever gave myself a fair chance. I would feel hopeless, like I would never lose it (even though it was never hard), people didn't like me as much. Can you believe that? All that over 5-10 pounds?

I have to say that watching The Biggest Loser was kind of an eye opener. While I think the rigarous exercise may not be the healthiest way for the contestants, I realized how good I have it. Just listening to the contestants psychological problems, thinking they could never do it then seeing them transform really was inspiring. Each day is an opportunity to take care of your body, and the better you take care of it, the better you feel.

It also made me realize that I needed to relax about my own issues and fears, to just work every day to be healthy, and not worry so much about a number on a scale. My mom always taught me how to eat healthy, so I wasn't worrying about breaking an addiction to fast food or anything really unhealthy. My weakness is that I have an enormous sweet tooth, which is where I know I have to be careful, but learning that all bites taste the same has helped me realize that I can have my cake, and I don't need a huge piece to be satisfied.

Each year I do the M'lis Detox under the supervision of my friend who is a trained distributor of the product. I know that there are a lot of dangerous detoxes out there, so when doing a detox, you definitely need to know what you are getting into. They may not be for everyone, but the reason I do it, is it feels good to kind of recharge and get in tune with my body. I re-learn to pay attention to my body signals, when I'm hungry, when I'm bored, when I'm thirsty, as well as being more conscious about eating healthy whole foods. The more that you cut out excess sodium and sugar, the less you miss and crave it. That is a great place to be.

All my life I've been fairly active, my favorites being dance and pilates.
My favorite at-home workouts are the 10 Minute Solution Pilates Series, and both of the Jackie Warner (from Workout! on Bravo) weight training DVD's.

When I married my husband, he taught me the importance of weight training. Oh yes, he is a drill sergant when it comes to weight training me! No mercy! But he has taught me to believe in myself, and push a little more to gain that strength.

I have always kind of been into running, but having short legs I never could run very fast. Last year, I trained for my first 5k which was the Women's Fitness Celebration. After running a whole 3.1 miles I realized... I CAN do this! I went on to running most of a 10k that October. I'm getting ready to run the Race for the Cure 5k this Saturday. Thanks to my faithful Pearl Izumi running shoes, I'll be shin splint free!

More than ever, I am learning that my worth or success can't be based on what anyone else may be doing. As long as I'm progressing on my own path, that is what makes me happy.

No matter what, there will always be someone taller, skinnier, bustier, prettier, whatever. No one is perfect, no matter how they may seem.