The Best and The Worst

I bought some HUGE zucchini (does anyone else have trouble spelling that word?) that were on sale the other day and needed to use them up before I forgot about them in my produce drawer in the fridge. (I hate when that happens!)

I'd bookmarked Lisa's zucchini chips, and decided that was just what I was in the mood for.

Before. Told ya that zucchini was big.

After.

They reminded me of giant fried okra. YUM.

I also tried some POM tea.

Verdict: tasted like cough syrup. I choked it down mixed half and half with Red Bull.

Yesterday was quite the day, my friends.

I had a HUGE A&P lab exam over like 9 chapters. The majority of it was on slides of tissue types and it's not like you can take the slides home and memorize them. I had studied and studied and studied some more. I couldn't function normally, but I could tell you every epithelial, muscle, bone and nerve tissue type's characteristics and location. I actually made flashcards and drilled myself on the elliptical and stair climber for 45 minutes the morning before.

Sitting at a red light, on my way to my huge test... I feel/hear the worst thing ever. Getting rear ended. The girl behind me saw the light turn green and hit the gas. While I was still parked. Ugh. I have an abnormal fear of car accidents and to make things worse, I'd had a feeling for months I was going to get in one. This is what went through my mind:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? $@*$ !!! NOT NOW!!! MY BRAND NEW CAR!! MY LAB EXAM!! @$%# !!!

Near nervous breakdown. In the middle of lunchtime traffic. Numb and shaking hands, numb face (both signs of hyperventilation) can't tell if my car is still on, can't remember how to drive. It was the worst.

So I pull over and I'm a wreck. I can't function. On the verge of tears. Did I mention near nervous breakdown? All I can think about it my test. That is happening in 20 minutes. Crap. The girl who hit me was fortunately apologetic and gave me all her info. We called the police. Waited 30 minutes for them to show up. Texted a girl in my lab to tell her I got in a wreck, hoping my instructor would be understanding. Got a note from the police officer as some documentation for my instructor so she'd know that I wasn't just messing around.

Luckily, the damage was minor and it was very low impact. No one got hurt. I was upset that I'd literally paid my first car payment that day, but I tried to count my blessings.

I can handle spiders, people puking, speaking in public, clowns, flying in airplanes, you know common fears. But car accidents? They break me. You know what's worse than being in a wreck? Having to drive afterward. I felt vulnerable, shaken, unsafe and like I have a huge target on my car. Someone passes and I was sure they're going to hit me. I'm certian everyone on the road has nothing else on their mind but hitting me. Maybe it's just me. Did I mention I have a fear of car wrecks?

It's not like I could just go home and decompress. I have a lab test that I am extremely late for. Which was compounding my anxiety. I knew one of two things would happen: either all that studying would pay off or I'd blank out of shock and forget everything. Thankfully, it was the former. My lab instructor was really understanding. She told me to take a moment and take a deep breath. She even offered to let me come back for the next lab and take it then. What I really needed was to take my mind off the accident and my test did just that. I calmed down, focused on the task at hand. Thankfully, I remembered everything I'd studied. I left feeling slightly better that at least I had done well on my test.

Afterward, I called my insurance, dragged through math class and went home. I talked to my mom. I am never too big to need my mommy. My dad gave me invaluable advice and helped me feel confident that I'd done all the right things in the aftermath and the best way to deal with insurance and go about getting it fixed.

I still feel like I'm in a bit of a fog. Like a little raincloud is over me. I guess that's to be expected after experiencing something traumatic.